Monday, January 18, 2010

And yet, I remain unscathed!

First of all, I got up super early so I could check my email, eat breakfast and drink coffee, and still get to work before I normally would. I rode my bike to the train platform, sat down, and waited for about 15 minutes. I assumed that I'd just missed the train, and since they run every 20min. on Sunday, it would be at my stop again shortly. Then this crazy dude showed up, and delivered the monologue detailed in today's strip. Initially, I'm thought, "Great, I'm going to be killed by a serial killer. Who'da thought that's the way I'd go out?!?"

Eventually, the psychotic bastard calmed down a little, and took a seat next to me. "Awesome," I silently commented to myself. "This situation is awesomely-horrible." He asked me for a cigarette, and I roll one, hoping to placate him. I listened as he recounted tales of the various people that screwed him over in jail, and how he was fully capable of beating them to death. I even nervously laughed when he made inappropriate jokes about raping and killing people (not necessarily in that order).

To make a long story short, I eventually won him over, and he seemed to lose interest in talking about various assaults and killings. Instead, he opted to tell me about how he was angry that he was made fun of by Oprah Winfrey and Bonnie Hunt on their talk shows, and how he felt this was "...fucked up". 30 minutes into our very one-sided conversation, he deemed me worthy of not stabbing, and instead offered me such praise as, "You have kind soul," and thought that I was capable of "...loving animals." No longer did I need to contemplate whether or not I should just smash him in the nose with my travel mug, and race away on my bike. He then excused himself, riding off into the rising sun, and I stopped myself from shitting the enormous brick which was nearing the seat of my pants.

The train never came.

No comments: